Dear Nora and Catherine
Listen, I understand that romance authors have to use authors’ photographs on the back covers of their novels that make them look like the kind of people who know something about romance.
But give me a break. Catherine, you’r older than I am, yet your picture on the back of the FBI thriller Nemesis makes you look 20 years younger.
Nora, you’re a bit younger than me yet–as I’ve often mentioned to my wife–I think you’ve been using the same high school yearbook photograph on your novels ever since, well, high school. I should compare the picture on the back of Island of Glass with your Montgomery Blair High School senior picture.
On the other hand, my author’s photograph is almost as bad as my driver’s license photograph. You can take that to mean I look like I just got out of prison and immediately turned to alcohol and TV dinners as my new lifestyle of choice.
If you ladies want me to think you look like the images of yourselves in those photographs when you gas up your cars and buy fresh radishes at the local farmer’s market, I don’t believe you. Yet, far be it from me to suggest that somebody took your driver’s license photographs and photoshopped them into stylish wonders suitable for the cover of “Vogue.”
If you subscribe to AARP magazine–and I’m sure you do–then you know that the back page of the magazine shows a lot of elderly people under the guise of “look how great these people look.” If you really look like one of those people, you have my compliments.
Just tone it down a bit because an everyday guy like me can’t compete at the bookstore with a goddess.