Campbell explains why next book isn’t ready
Jock Stewart here for Star-Gazer News Service meeting Malcolm R. Campbell (“The Sun Singer,” “Conjure Woman’s Cat”) in a city park on the road to the Rome/Floyd County Georgia dump. We’re both drinking Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA because I can’t afford the 90- or 120-minute brews on a reporter’s salary.
Stewart: Thank you for meeting me. You were a bit late.
Campbell: The Serena Williams – Johanna Larsson U.S. Open match started a bit late.
Stewart: That excuse answers my primary question.
Campbell: Thanks. Anything else?
Stewart: I might as well ask my primary question anyway. It’s my understanding that during the last several days, you were within striking distance of finishing Eulalie and Washerwoman, the long-awaited sequel to Conjure Woman’s Cat. However, instead of wrapping things up and getting that book out there to your 1000000000 fans, you’ve been watching the U. S. Open.
Stewart: What about your 1000000000 fans?
Campbell: I don’t have 1000000000 fans.
Stewart: How many do you have?
Stewart: I’m impressed. Some people would have incorrectly used the word “less.”
Campbell: I don’t write for those people.
Stewart: Me either. [We each open another IPA out of the cooler and watch the line of pickup trucks carrying trash and recyclables to the dump. My researchers told me that the dump stopped recycling glass earlier this year, something that proves that guy in the movie “The Graduate” was right when he told Benjamin, “There’s a great future in plastics. Think about it. Will you think about it?”]
Campbell: Great movie.
Stewart: You’re 37% psychic, right?
Campbell: That means I’m right less than chance.
Stewart: Might as well guess.
Campbell: I did.
Stewart: So what do you have to say to your fans about why you were watching tennis rather than finishing another book.
Campbell: I say they should have been watching Serena Williams win another match. She’s almost 35 years old, yet she continues to stay in the game against people who weren’t even born when she first got into the game. That would be like me writing a bestselling novel when I’m 120 years old. She came into the Open this year after suffering from an inflamed shoulder. That would be like me trying to write with an inflamed imagination. So my fans need to be Serena’s fans and on the days she’s playing, cut me a little slack.
Stewart: Did you ever play tennis?
Campbell: Sure, and let me tell you, I knocked more balls out of the park than most people had.
Stewart: My editor will probably cut that last response out of the story.
Campbell: It’s her right to do that. However, if she does, I’ll never right a sequel to Jock Stewart and the Missing Sea of Fire.
Stewart: Oh. So, what are you going to do now?
Campbell: I’m not going to Disney World. I’m going to surprise my wife by boiling a couple of rib eye steaks for dinner.
Stewart: Lucky woman.
According to potentially informed sources, Campbell’s publisher expects to bring out Eulalie and Washerwoman this fall in e-book and paperback editions.